Sometimes You Can’t Move Forward, That’s Okay

Last week, I was sitting in my doctor’s office and noticed a cookbook she had left out for her patients to read. The cookbook promised weight loss and health benefits, so I took a moment to thumb through it. The “gimmick” they were selling was a way of eating that was not new to me. The author of the cookbook recommended eating whole, real foods like fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, with lean meats and seafood. They advocated staying away from processed foods, sugar, artificial everything, and of course high fructose corn syrup. I’m sure the recipes were very nutritious and I have no criticism of them. 

But why am I talking about a cookbook? 

Well, a year ago, or even two, I could not have eaten most of the foods in this book. I knew they were healthy and good for me, but my body was reacting to almost everything. And by reacting, I mean that eating most foods put me in pain, a lot of pain. I could only eat very bland, easy-to-digest foods. My go-to meals were baked potatoes, microwave meals of chicken fettuccine Alfredo, and puffed rice cereal with coconut milk. I was not eating a well-balanced healthy diet because my body couldn’t handle that.

I was not healthy. I knew that. And I knew I crossed from unhealthy to malnourished when my hair started falling out. But, at the time, eating the more interesting whole foods I loved, like vegetables, was just not possible.

To this day, I am taking vitamins and supplements to help my body get back to where it needs to be.  I can eat more foods, and my body no longer responds with pain to most foods. I’m making progress. But I am still working to be able to eat the way most people take for granted. 

But what does this have to do with homeschooling? 

Right now, your child may be in a difficult place with their academics. There can be tons of reasons for that. Health issues, depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, hormone changes, and much more can make it hard for a child to do their school work. It isn’t that they don’t understand that they should be doing more school work, but they just aren’t ready. It isn’t a matter of understanding that it is necessary, but they just can’t. 

Just like my body wasn’t ready to eat healthy foods, your child’s brain may not be ready for all the lessons you want to teach. Just like I had to live on my bland diet, your child may need to take some time to heal and do only things that are comfortable. My body survived on my bland diet, and while it did that, it worked on healing. Not having foods that irritated it actually helped with the healing process. 

Progress doesn’t always mean moving forward.

In education, this can mean that you aren’t “making progress.”  But holding your ground against a tide of external obstacles is its own progress. Sometimes, kids need time to just keep reading at the same level. Sometimes they need time to just practice copying the letters without writing their own words. Sometimes they need to keep playing with the blocks and they aren’t ready to multiply. 

Would you believe I ate fettuccine Alfredo every day for 3 months and didn’t gain weight? It flies in the face of all I was ever told about eating healthy, but it happened. For me, it was a comfort food. It made me feel better while I was dealing with a whole lot of health issues. It may not seem like a healthy food, but it kept me alive. 

Your child may have times when they need educational comfort food. This might mean that you read out loud to them or watch movies together. It might be they need to keep visiting the same field trip location you are sick of, but they want to go back. It might even be that they need to keep reading those silly books you know are too easy for them like Elephant and Piggie or Dogman. 

Give it time.

Here’s the thing, your brain might want to panic. They’ve been at the same level for months, maybe longer, and you worry if they will ever be ready for more. They will. Just be patient. Just like I could not see inside my body to see the slow progress of cells repairing damage, you can’t see inside your child’s brain. You can’t see that they are making new connections. That reading is getting easier. Changes happen slowly on the inside. But one day, your child is going to surprise you and do harder things. Just keep giving them opportunities to get there. When their brain is ready, they will do it. 

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About the Author

nimble_asset_Laura-in-floral-shirt-with-treesLaura Sowdon, OTR/L is an occupational therapist, writer, speaker, educator, and creator of the Five Senses Literature Lessons homeschool curriculum. She has worked as an occupational therapist with children in public and private schools, as well as private practice. Laura has taught and managed homeschool co-ops as well as homeschooling her own three children. Laura is dedicated to the idea of educating children at a pace that aligns with brain and physical development milestones and respects neurodiversity in all its forms.

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