I recently spoke to someone who hires young people fresh from college about what problem behaviors they have seen. These are things that he has said he has recently had issues with, that he never expected. This list is here as a list of suggestions to consider as you prepare your autistic teen for having a job. No matter what kind of job your child is going to work at, it is important to understand that work settings are different from educational ones.

Hygiene

Please be sure your child knows they need to not smell badly at work. Bathing, brushing teeth, using mouth wash and going to work in clean clothes with clean, brushed hair are all required. Yes, those are social norms that may not seem related to job performance. However, if your co-workers either don’t want to work with you due to the smell, or are distracted from their work, this can be a major problem. Other things to note: deodorant is usually necessary to stay fresh smelling all day.

Oh, and be sure to explain that unless they are worried about food allergies, you should pretty much always accept a breath mint when one is offered. It is a way that people hint to other people your breath stinks, and try to solve the problem for you. If they can’t share those with others, for whatever reasons, help them pack some to keep with them at work for times their breath isn’t so fresh.

There Is No IEP

Let your child know, they will not have an IEP at work. Various jobs may do a nice job trying to accommodate their employees. However, you should try to figure out during the interview process if you are actually not able to do the job as stated. For example, if the job demands you collaborate with peers on projects daily in an office setting, you have to do that. You can’t ask for the accommodation of working alone in a quiet space if that doesn’t let you get the job done.

There are things that are reasonable and unreasonable to ask for at a job, that don’t align with what was okay for ask for as an accommodation in high school or college. For example, working while wearing headphones might be fine for some jobs, to help you block out noise. You just need to bring your own, and check in with your supervisor that he knows you may not hear people approach you. However, asking your job to allow you to work from home every day when the company doesn’t allow telework, isn’t going to be acceptable.

While people with a wide range of disabilities can hold all kinds of jobs, not all jobs are a good fit for all people. Employment accommodations are often provided to make sure high value employees can do their jobs. This does not mean that they will support someone who is unqualified and is asking for an excessive number of accommodations to make up for that gap. This is not a sentences I ever thought I would need to write, but based on conversations I am having, some people need to understand there is a difference.

Working Relationships

Working relationships are different than those with have with teachers or friends. This is a more formal relationship than school peers. It requires being respectful and pleasant, even if you are in a bad mood. Your student needs to understand, their office co-workers and bosses will speak to each other about them. They need to do their best to be someone who is pleasant to work with. They may need to cultivate interest in something mundane like sports or music to talk to with co-workers. They need to greet people, be friendly, and helpful, but not expect too much from new work friends. They also need to know that it is bad manners to bad mouth the boss behind her back, or to make fun of others. Negative humor may have worked in other settings, but it is unprofessional.

When to Call HR

It is very important that new employees understand that they should always ask a co-worker or direct supervisor if they have questions. There may be situations where they are told they need to contact HR or another department, but in most American jobs, that isn’t a decision you should make on your own. For example, let’s say you feel you need to add a white board to your workspace to help you keep track of projects. Talking to your coworkers can let you know if there is a stack of those in a supply closet, or if this is something you need to ask for or bring in for yourself. What you do not do is go to HR, your boss’ boss, or other staff and demand a white board. Going through the proper chain of command is important. Your student might be used to bypassing a teacher to go talk to someone about their IEP needs, but that doesn’t work in an American job.

However do explain to your teen how you would make a decision that HR should be involved. If they have reasonable expectations of work place safety, and the job is not safe, for example. Or if they are being harassed and their manager is either the one doing the harassment or is ignoring it, they may need to talk to HR. HR might also be the right people to answer questions about benefits, if they have any. Encourage your teen to talk to you about workplace challenges to make a plan before doing anything. It isn’t that they shouldn’t stand up for themselves, but understanding how to do that at work and how it is different than an educational setting is important.

Sick Days

Go over with them how to call in and ask for a sick day, and how to use the word “emergency.”  I recently heard of a young person who called their manager and said they would be out due to an “emergency” but then came in to work and said their emergency was moved to Friday. My best guess is that this young person had to see a doctor and called out of work before they realized they could not get an appointment for a few days. If your “emergency” could be moved to another day, it is not an emergency. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t request time off to see a doctor if you need one, but be careful of your choice of words. In this example, it gives the manager reasons to not trust your judgement, as you don’t describe an emergency the way most people do.

When calling in sick, it is also important to understand your company’s policies. Do you accrue sick leave? Does your workplace expect a doctor’s note? Or do they allow you to work from home so you don’t spread germs at work. Help your child figure out how to get this information before they need it.

Employment Struggles

Many autistic people struggle in the workplace. There are a whole host of reasons for this and I am not trying to blame your child for every possible struggle. My goal here, is to educate you on explaining to your child reasonable expectations that they may not understand. In addition to the above list, they need to know they have to be on time, go work (almost) every day, and be trustworthy. They need to do tasks they say they will do, and be honest if something is going to take longer to complete.

Teaching Skills

Some of the above things can be taught by just having a series of conversations with your kid. Some may be things you need to talk about as they arise. “Honey, did you brush your teeth this morning? Your breath is very strong. That will bother other people and make them not want to talk to you, which is NOT good.”  And some may be things they need to role play. Just like you would role play to let them practice interviewing for a job, role playing to help them learn to ask for a vacation day or for office supplies can help them learn to navigate this new relationship.

My biggest advice is to not assume your child has these skills, whether they were homeschooled or went to a school or even held down a high school job. Walking the neighbor’s cat twice a week may not have prepared them for corporate life. Consider what kind of job they will have, and what challenges that may cause. If you don’t work in that field, consider ways to help them get more insight into what to expect at work. Finding a friend of a friend to talk to them is better than looking at videos alone, but anything is better than nothing.