I feel one of the biggest mistakes our society is making is that we are continuing to raise the expectations of children higher and higher. It isn’t healthy.  We need to let our children have childhoods.

A childhood full of play, art, rest and daydreaming results in a well rounded adult. A childhood of exhaustion trying to do things that are too hard for you, every single day, leads to anxious, exhausted people. Children don’t need to start daycare sooner to be used to daycare. Starting preschool at 4 should be enough to prepare them for school. If it isn’t, this is a failure of the system, not the child.

Children Should Feel Safe

Children should feel safe. Every day. All day. That should be a given of childhood. If your child doesn’t feel safe in the place where they spend their days- that is a failure. Feeling safe is the very basis for stable mental health. If you lack that safety in childhood, your brain will adapt to look for safety for your entire life. It results in hyper vigilance which leads to anxiety, depression and life long struggles.

Adulthood Can Wait

We have to stop trying to turn toddlers into adults. We need to stop asking children under 5 to write anything. We need to stop asking children under 8 to write paragraphs. We need to stop asking children under 12 to write essays. Why? Because none of that is developmentally appropriate for humans. It creates stress and teaches them to create crappy work, because they can’t create good work. Stop asking kids to do things they aren’t ready to do.

Do you know what happens when you wait until a child is developmentally ready to learn a skill? They learn it easier. They learn to do it better. They take that skill and grow by leaps and bounds. They learn to write essays that will blow you away, because they didn’t learn to produce anything that was mediocre.

Why?

How do I know?  I’ve homeschooled two neurodivergent kids who are in college now. This is what worked. They didn’t write partial essays until 8th grade or later. They didn’t write full blown essays until 11th or 12th grade. They write excellent college essays. Earlier isn’t better. It’s a lie they are selling you.  Ask why they sell that lie and who benefits form your child learning to be mediocre.

I chose to homeschool so my kids could have childhoods. I wanted them to have plenty of time to play. We took lessons at their pace. We paused to enjoy throwing rocks in a puddles, without worrying so much how we could use our time better. This is what childhood is made for. When a child is ready, they are not hard to teach. We need to let them be ready, and then support them in learning however they learn best.