Last week, I was talking to my mother, and I mentioned that I felt I was doing a good job teaching my youngest, and last homeschooler, high school classes. She then asked “So do you think she is getting the best education of the three of them?” Wow. Just Wow. This question implies that one of my kids got the best, and one got the worst education from our homeschool…. and that doesn’t make me feel good about anything.

However, after sitting with this question for a few days, I do think it is important to talk about how very individualized homeschooling can be. While some families use a single program over and over with each child, many of us adapt the educational experience to meet each child where they are. This means I have a HUGE stack of curriculum in my home, much of which was only used for one child. Maybe my kids are more unique than most, but what worked for one, often did not work for another.

So, how does this break down? Did one of them get a better education?

The Oldest

My three kids, circa 2019

As in all parenting, my first born was my guinea pig. I didn’t know what I was doing, and yet, I taught reading, writing, math, social studies and science. I have a big age gap, and I do think my oldest got a wonderful elementary school education while they were the only child being homeschooled. They were in fifth grade before I had to start also homeschooling a sibling and we had made the most of nap times. I was also great at teaching my oldest while eating play food prepared by my younger kids. For my oldest, those early years laid a strong foundation.

My oldest was my most academic child. They were very interested in the world, and in many areas, easy to teach. They would listen to me read all day if the opportunity arose. Unfortunately, the older they got, the more attention and educational time their younger siblings needed. This meant there was less for them. Thank goodness for co-ops and online programs to help round out their education. They even did a few dual enrollment classes in high school.

The Middle Child

My middle child is my one who was never homeschooled alone. There was always a sibling, older, or younger or both, who also needed my attention. This meant that much of the time, my son had a classmate in the early years. It was just easier to teach both him and little sister at the same time when it came to history, science and art, especially in elementary school. He also got to tag along on his oldest sibling’s field trips and experiments. While some people would say the lack of one-on-one instruction at times might have short changed him, I would say the benefits of group learning made up for it. There are only two years between my middle and youngest and they were often happy to work together on bigger projects.

As they got older, I found I needed to do more one-on-one instruction, and since the oldest graduated before my middle child started high school, we had more time to dig into his interests then. High school classes for him focused on his interests and were created by me, just for him. He liked learning through games and hands-on experiences, and I did my best to provide those. He had tutors, co-ops, and online classes, too. But in his case, they were less for necessity and more to just expand his learning experiences. Having done a wider range of learning experiences prepared him more for college, than just having me as a teacher.

The Youngest

My youngest learns how to suture on a banana at summer camp 2025.

My youngest was somehow both my easiest child to teach and my hardest. This child benefited not only from my experience teaching the older ones first, but also from the fact that I was well into my teacher era. I knew better so I did better. I bought better programs for reading, because she needed them. I knew 3 ways to explain the math lesson, because I had already taught it to both siblings. But she was also eager to learn and willing to try whatever I asked. Except for middle school, we don’t talk about middle school. She was feral and I just called it unschooling.

Her high school years are not over, but she is benefiting from all that experience I have. She gets to go to co-op, but I know I can teach any class she needs. I even teach high school classes at our co-op now to be sure there are courses she wants to take. She also has said “yes” to a lot of life experiences. This child has said yes to going to forestry camp, conservation camp, canoeing 100 miles down a river with our scout group, and is willing to do lots of other new experiences. I honestly think that might be the key to getting the best homeschool education, just saying yes. A lot.

The Best

I think the truth is that I probably fell short for each child at times. However, I also met each one where they were, and gave them what I believed they needed most. I know that there were times one child needed more, so they got more of my time and attention. I know I did the best I could every year. The education they got, prepared each of them in different ways and I think that is the right thing for each of them. I didn’t want them to have a cookie cutter education. That is why we didn’t use the public school system.