I want you to know, you are a good mom. We are constantly fed lies about how we need to be perfect parents and create perfect kids. That isn’t true. Perfect is creepy and weird. Be real. Real is messy, and crazy. It is the rare days when you feel so much joy your heart might explode, and the many days you want to beat your head against the wall as an excuse to get a quick nap. Most of us real moms have a lot of guilt we shouldn’t have. 

Let’s review a few frequent mom guilt issues, so you can let them go. 

Screen Time

Did the kids watch too much TV today or play too long on their video games? Okay, let’s run through a check list of whether this is a problem. First question: Did you let your 5 year old sit and watch 6 hours of Game of Thrones, or did you take the time to make sure the shows they watched were age appropriate, and possibly even educational? One of those options is actually bad, but I’m betting that isn’t what you did.

Everyone needs some down time. Quality, children’s programing or games are not evil. Taking a few hours off from parenting doesn’t make you a bad mom. It actually can make you a better mom to get a break. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day and you will take them to the park or pool, or just send them to dig holes in the yard for a while. The only big problem with screen time is that it doesn’t build any muscles, hands, legs or eyes. Just make sure they get some physical play time too. It is all about balance. 

Meals

Next, they won’t eat anything green you say? That is pretty normal. Our pediatrician once told me as long as my kid ate fruit, they were getting the same nutrients as they would from vegetables. If your child also hates fruit, I bet you didn’t give up on feeding them at all. French fries are made from potatoes, and potatoes are actually very nutrient dense!

Let go of the guilt that your children don’t want to eat some fake idealized version of family meals. The only people I know who learned to eat everything as a child, have a very complicated relationship with food as adults. It is okay to let your child make choices and say no. It is your job to offer healthy meals and snacks, not to agonize over it. Some treats won’t hurt them. However, I do recommend limiting brownie sundaes for dinner to once a week. Actually, we never have them for dinner, that’s a breakfast here, but you do you. 

Homeschooling

Trying to teach your child everything and be a great homeschooling mom is exhausting, isn’t it? Let me tell you a secret, kids will learn things without you loosing your mind. There is nothing wrong with a child who learns a lot of skills in math and language arts later than the public schools do. The public schools are not basing their grade levels, tests, or required skills on child development. They ask too much, too soon, and kids are burnt out and exhausted. This applies double if your child is neurodivergent. 

On the other hand, homeschooled kids who have time and room to grow, can be inquisitive. They don’t get burnt out, because they get to rest when they need it. They get to go at their own pace, and not be constantly told they are “behind” some imaginary standard. This means that when they are ready, they can learn those skills by leaps and bounds when their brains are at the right developmental stage. They also tend to enter college excited to learn. They ask unique questions and write interesting papers instead of the cookie cutter ones your local school is likely teaching.

While you weren’t looking, your child probably read various books, watched some YouTube videos and now has a body of knowledge on a wide assortment of topics. Oh, and those hours of educational TV led to some good learning, not just a coffee break for you!  

So, let go of the guilt you didn’t teach it all this year. Your child is going to be fine. You will be fine. Relax. You are a good mom.