One thing that happens to new homeschoolers and rarely to experienced ones, is boredom. Your kids complain they are bored, and look to you to fix this “problem.” Don’t worry, this is a stage and it won’t last too long. Why is this a temporary problem?
School Days Have No Downtime
If your child has been spending their days in a school or daycare, they are used to every minute of their day being filled for them. The longer they lived this life, the more they will expect homeschooling to be like the school they attended. That is normal for them. An adult who told them what to think, say and do every minute of the day kept them from having time be bored.
Homeschooling isn’t like that. Most of us don’t structure our children’s days that throughly. Most of us can get our lessons completed in a fraction of the time that a public school can do the same work. We don’t have to wait on 30 kids to get out a pencil, over and over. We don’t have to take turns with a whole class, lots of things make it possible to spend far less time and actually learn far more.
The problem is, that that leave a chunk of the day for your child to fill for themselves. For some kids, this is a new skill to develop, learning to occupy themselves. It is a wonderful life skill, but it can be tricky to get started with.
Choices for You to Make
As a parent, you basically have 3 options for how to deal with the “I’m bored” complaints. Option one, is to assign chores every time your child complains. This generally teaches kid that there are worse things than being bored, like cleaning the toilet. A rare child will occasionally find a love of cleaning, cooking or other household tasks from being sent to do them to fill the day. However, most kids really hate this response. If your goal as a parent is to just teach your child not to come complain to you, this might be the right approach for you. It isn’t my choice, though.
Your second option is to work on filling your child’s day for them. This could mean extra classes, art projects, cooking together, watching documentaries or playing board games. You can take field trips, go to park days, and take hikes. Beyond regular homeschooling, I do recommend doing some of these kinds of things with your kids, often. They will learn a ton from real life activities and strengthen your relationship. But if you try to fill every moment of your child’s day like a cruise director, you will burn yourself out, and that’s not good either.
My Favorite Option
The approach I most prefer is giving my children a lot of options and a lot of freedom to let them figure out how they like to spend their time. Our home has musical instruments, craft supplies, lots of books to read, and lots of games and toys. My kids also are allowed to go play in the yard all they want. If they show interest in a new hobby, like growing a garden, I purchase supplies for them to use. But also, and here is where many of you will freak out, my teens have a lot of access to screens. They can get on the computer to play games with friends, watch videos or read the news. As a result of that, they are actually better informed of world events than many adults.
That said, I had strict screen time rules when my kids were little. They also had a play room and lots of toys to go play with instead of watching a screen. TV shows were specifically used to help me keep my sanity. They could watch a morning show while I had coffee and an afternoon show while I cooked dinner. But as teens, they have been taught how to be safe on the internet and we trust them now to moderate their own time. They know they need to plan for their bed times and they generally make wise choices. When they make a mistake, like gaming all night, they learn what that makes the next day feel like. That is also a lesson in self care.
My kids have now learned how to fill their own time. They have hobbies. They choose to do chores and clean their own rooms. They listen to music and write.
This isn’t easy
It can be scary for both you and your child to realize they have hours and hours of their day that they need to fill for themselves. If this is new for them, they will probably want to binge watch some Netflix shows, play videos games all day and other things you don’t love. For most kids, this is a temporary situation. You just need to figure out how much you feel you need to step into their process. You can still do some of the things in the first 2 options above, so your child will have some of their time filled. But if you go with option 1, realize you may not love how your child solves their boredom problem. If you go with option 2, you need to set your own limits. Decide how much of your child’s time you will fill and how much is on them to figure out. Know that as they age and mature this will all change and generally become easier.
Hang in there! You’ve got this!
