One of the things any Gen X adult will tell you is that we had a lot less supervision than the current generation of kids. Now, I’m not saying that’s good. We all made blow torches out of hairspray at a tender age in a time and place where everyone thought we were doing something far safer. However, it wasn’t all bad. We learned a lot of lessons from being left to ourselves. So, let’s talk about which parts I thought were worth repeating with my kids.

Unsupervised Play

My kids had a lot of barely supervised play time. I left them in a nice fenced back yard to entertain themselves on the regular. We had a 6-foot privacy fence and a window I could look out often. But here’s the thing, I couldn’t hear or see every little detail. My kids had a certain amount of privacy to play. To climb trees higher than they should. To do “tricks” on the swing set any good parent wouldn’t allow. They had space to dig a hole as deep as they could while I wasn’t looking. They got to check out the worms and bugs and whatever they found and decide for themselves if they would bring it to me to see.

What do I think they got from that? I think the act of taking those risks, allowed them grow up to know their own limits. To see they could take risks and be okay. To push themselves and see what happened. Yes, there were a few falls, bumps and scrapes. None of my kids ever needed a trip to the ER for their play. I imagine it was because they learned to only take risks that paid off and because I wasn’t there to take away every stick or rock, they learned to play carefully when needed. Of course, I did set a good example when I was with them.

Letting Them Read

I let my kids read things above grade level and things I didn’t really like. That means that in the early years they got to read books with potty humor and poor grammar. The goal wasn’t to have them reading the “classics” but to get them reading. I wanted them to learn to love reading, no matter what avenue it took.

While I had limits on adult content in the early years, in high school I let them read adult books. Romance, fantasy, science fiction, non-fiction, and historical fiction were all options for them. I have read books I have told my kids were not a good choice for them, ones I would have taken away. However, most of their YA choices were appropriate in my opinion. There might have been on-page sex, but reading about healthy and non-healthy relationships is a good way to learn about those without getting hurt. Reading about war or slavery or poverty gave them insight that their lives have not.

Where I Did Draw the Line

I didn’t grow up with the internet always available with too much information and not enough substance. I am older than Google. So, the internet and social media are a place where I do believe in setting limits. Your limits may be different than mine, but I felt I had to be careful both to make sure my kids were/are safe, and to be aware what they were consuming. We talked a lot about what you watch and read can live in your brain forever, so be careful what you feed it. Not all media is good for you.

However, as my kids became teens, I let them make a lot of decisions for themselves because they did have good instincts and made good choices. My goal wasn’t to bubble wrap them, but to give them the tools to wait until they were old enough to make the right choices for themselves.

What Did I Miss?

What do you think? Do your kids need more freedom or more supervision?  Keep in mind that I homeschool, so I really can bubble wrap my kids. My choice to let them have specific freedoms from constant oversight is a choice. What do you choose?